OWN EVERYTHING! TAKE 100% RESPONSIBILITY IN YOUR LIFE
Are you ready to become more successful and empowered in every area of your life? You are absolutely in charge of that! Take responsibility for everything that is a part of your life. Yes, everything. Whether you are at direct fault or not. This is the greatest significant trait that distinguishes the most successful people from the rest. To take responsibility for your life and your circumstances is incredibly empowering. It is directly tied to your self-worth, courage, mental strength, and resilience.
1. DROP THE BLAME
When going through crushing disappointments, horrific setbacks, and downright hellish times in life, the easy default is to blame a circumstance or person. My life is this way because “X” happened. However, when we stop taking ownership of our lives, we become an unnecessary victim, deflated, disempowered, and waste our time and life. By approaching your circumstances with blame and playing the victim, you put yourself at a clear disadvantage. In this position, there is absolutely nothing you can do about your circumstances and you are rendered completely helpless. You are powerless and incapable of making anything better and are resigned to a set fate. However, dropping the charges of blaming others or circumstances frees you from all of that.
"All blame is a waste of time.
No matter how much fault you find with another,
and regardless of how much you blame him,
it will not change YOU.
The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you
when you are looking for external reasons to
explain your unhappiness or frustration.
You may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by blaming them, but you won't succeed in changing whatever it is about
you that is making you unhappy."
-- Wayne Dyer
Ask yourself: Which areas of my life do I blame circumstances or others?
2. HOW DID I CONTRIBUTE?
To truly take ownership of a problem you must acknowledge how you contributed to the difficulty in whatever way. You must come to a clear understanding of how this problem is of your own making, even if indirectly. There were choices and decisions you made that led you to the situation, and like it or not, we always have some level of responsibility for what happens in our life. It could be decisions that we made, things we chose to do or not, what we said or didn’t say that have led us to this very moment.
How did I contribute to this problem?
How is this situation of my own making?
What led me to this person or circumstance?
What parts of this problem do I control?
3. WHAT ARE THE LESSONS & OPPORTUNITIES?
Some of the best opportunities and learning experiences in life come from our worst problems and our darkest hours. Most of the time people will miss out on the lessons and opportunities, and will not make healthy, wise choices to improve their circumstances. There is always something positive you can take away from every situation no matter how dire it is.
What can I learn and take away from this experience?
What’s the opportunity here that could be to my benefit?
How could I potentially use this problem to improve my situation?
4. WHAT OUTCOME DO I WANT?
We always have a choice in how we respond. Although we may not always choose our circumstances, we ALWAYS have a choice in what we do with them. The choices that we now make in how we respond to our circumstances will ultimately affect the outcomes in our life. Jack Canfield, in his book, The Success Principles, gives this empowering formula:
E + R = O
EVENT + RESPONSE = OUTCOME
We are unable to change the event. It has already happened. Sometimes the event was completely out of our control. However, if we want to change the ultimate outcome, the only thing we can really do is to change our response. You can change your response by changing your actions, your reactions, your thinking, your communication, or the images your hold in your head. Whatever you say, think, and do can become intentional and in alignment with your purpose and who you want to become.
What options do I have at this point?
What is the outcome that I really want in life?
Which option will better serve me in the long run?
5. HOW DO I NEED TO RESPOND TO MAKE THAT HAPPEN? WHO DO I NEED TO BECOME?
When you put yourself in the “how” mode of things, you give options for creativity and ownership. For every reason why something isn’t possible, there are hundreds of people who have been through the same set of circumstances or worse and have succeeded. You can fully accept how things are in your situation and commit yourself to making it right. It allows you to be the sculptor that creates your own life. You have a greater sense of control to eventually get the outcome you are after.
Who are the people that were in similar circumstances that now have the outcome that I want?
How can I respond in a way that would get the outcome that I want?
Who do I need to become?
To take full responsibility requires you to embracing difficult situations, and openly acknowledging any mistakes, blind spots, and failures. It demands the very best from you. Taking complete ownership of your life allows you to see opportunities within every problem or circumstances that you find yourself in. It requires making a commitment to continuous improvement. AND, it is worth it!